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You're An Author? Don't Get Hustled : List of Chapters

CHAPTER ONE:  The Lay Of The Land

“You can handle just about anything that comes at you…with a believable grin, common sense and whiskey”--Bill Murray

CHAPTER TWO:  Publisher Hell

“Write a wise saying and your name will live forever”--Author Unknown

CHAPTER THREE:  Blow Your Horn

“When you’re getting ready to launch into space, you’re sitting on a big explosion waiting to happen”—Sally Ride

CHAPTER FOUR:  Self-Publishing and Print On Demand

“You’re always with yourself, so you might as well enjoy the company”--Diane Von Furstenberg


“It is hard to imagine a more stupid or more dangerous way of making decisions than by putting those decisions in the hands of people who pay no price for being wrong.”—Thomas Sowell

CHAPTER SIX:  Book Signings

“Ego trip:  (It’s) a journey to nowhere”—Robert Half


“I have never had a bad review off a good-looking person”—Richard Ashcroft

CHAPTER 8: Audio Book, yes or no?

“If you have something to say, then you want someone to pay attention or at least to have the opportunity for them to tell you to shut up and go away”—John Lyndon

CHAPTER NINE:  Listing Your Book On Amazon and Barnes And Noble (and others)

“In (Cyber) space, no one can hear you scream”—(With Thanks To) The Tag Line For The Movie “Alien.”

CHAPTER 10:  Bookstores and Libraries 

“Why do you rob banks?” Reporter to bank robber Slick Willie Sutton.  Sutton: “Because that’s where the money is”—Saturday Evening Post, 1951

CHAPTER 11: Distribution, The Thousand Pound Animal

“If you run with wolves, howl”—Attributed to French Voyageurs of the 1800s fur trade

CHAPTER 12:  Locking Your Copyright

“I have six locks on my door…I lock every other one. (That way) if somebody picks the locks, they are always locking three.”—Elayne Boosler

CHAPTER 13:  Broadcast and Major Media Interviews 

“People are always asking me in interviews, ‘What do you think of foreign affairs?’  I just say, ‘I’ve had a few.’ ”—Dolly Parton

CHAPTER 14:  ‘Grabber’ One Sheets And Advertising.

“Advertising is totally unnecessary.  Unless you hope to make money.”—Jef I. Richards. “Half the money I spend on advertising is wasted; the trouble is, I don’t know which half”—John Wanamaker


“I do love email…I’m really good at email.”—Elon Musk

CHAPTER 16:  What’s With The 99 Cent and Free Book giveaways? 

“To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first, and call whatever you hit the target.” – Ashleigh Brilliant

CHAPTER 17:   Samples

“If you aren’t taking a representative sample, you won’t get a representative snapshot.”—Nate Silver

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